I thinkk that uh.

That a lot of the time it's tempting to imagine your life as a story and to want the things around you to be the best possible version of that thing that could be around you. And to imagine that it is.

I think college ties into that. Like, I might want to go to an ivy league school. Because it would be part of a nice story. But I"m here. And I'm trying to learn about how things don't have to be the best possible , they can just be.

I like loyola. But it doesn't have to be the best. I mean, even when I'm writing this I'm temped to try and turn this idea about how loyola "is" into a statement about how I got what I needed eeven if I didn't get what I wanted. Or something. But even that would be against the idea that things can just be.

Same with friends. Same with create writing and makinng stuff. I don't relly know who rainne fisher quann is but I would like to meet her. But whatever her things is, it's not an ideal to me. It's funny , how sometimes we interperet random things around us as meaningful. But it;s not about her, it's about my brain. I think. I am starting to feel confused so I think It's best if I sign off for now. Thank you!!!!!!